One year after the tragic death of her husband, HGTV’s Carmeon Hamilton says she will “absolutely not” move from the home they found and lovingly decorated together. In the new issue of Drew+Jonathan Reveal, on newsstands now, the “Redo My Rental” host and “Design Star: Next Gen” winner shares photos and stories of the one place where she feels she can keep his memory alive.

Carmeon Hamilton Says Her Son Will Inherit Their Family Home

Emily Dorio/Drew + Jonathan RevealHGTV’s Carmeon Hamilton and her son, Davin, during a photo shoot for the 2022 holiday issue of Drew+Jonathan Reveal

In a heartwrenching and inspiring essay written for the 2022 holiday issue of Drew+Jonathan Reveal magazine, entitled “What Home Means: Home After Loss,” Hamilton opens up about grieving her husband Marcus and how the home they shared with their son, Davin, brings her comfort.

The Memphis-based interior designer won HGTV’s “Design Star: Next Gen” in early 2021 and had just wrapped production on her new show, “Redo My Rental,” when she got a call from the police that turned her life upside down.

“On August 28, 2021, I received the most devastating news of my life: Marcus was heading home on his motorcycle when he was hit by an intoxicated driver,” she wrote. “The person I loved with my entire being for 15 years was gone. I felt a kind of pain that I can’t put into words. Suddenly, I was missing a major part of myself, our family, and our home. It was an empty space that grew bigger with every second that passed.”

Though she and Davin, who was just starting seventh grade at the time of his dad’s accident, have felt lifted up by family, friends, counseling and using positive affirmations, she told the magazine “grief is a difficult journey, and it’s messy AF.”

Though some days it’s hard to know how to move forward, she said the one thing she knows for sure is that she and Davin won’t move out of their family home.

“This home that Marcus and I put together became my refuge,” she wrote. “It is here that I can grieve and fully feel whatever I am feeling that day—whether it is being grateful for the 15 incredible years I had with my husband or feeling pissed that I won’t have another 15 years.”

In fact, Hamilton revealed that before her husband died, they had discussed keeping their home in their family and passing it on to Davin someday.

“So that’s exactly what I am going to do,” she said.

HGTV’s Carmeon Hamilton Hopes People Who Visit Her Home Still ‘Feel Our Love’ for Her Late Husband

Emily Dorio / Drew + Jonathan RevealHGTV’s Carmeon Hamilton shares her home decor, including her bedroom, in the 2022 holiday issue of Drew+Jonathan Reveal magazine

In her home tour for Drew and Jonathan Scott’s magazine, Hamilton said she, Marcus, and Davin had lived in an apartment for nearly five years before searching for their first house. While Marcus handled the financials, she handled the vision, making a wish-list of things she wanted the home to include. She envisioned “a house that was filled with light, as close to mid-century as possible, and in original condition.”

When they found the house that matched her wish-list six years ago, they put in an offer that day and moved in weeks later. Despite every wall in the house being painted “the most terrible shade of baby blue,” Hamilton said she knew they could transform it into a home that reflected them perfectly.

Emily Dorio / Drew + Jonathan RevealCarmeon Hamilton shares her own home decor in the 2022 holiday issue of Drew + Jonathan Reveal magazine

“I have gone room by room and repainted it to match our more modern style,” she said. “I painted our living room black to give it that moody theater effect for family movie nights spent bingeing Marvel blockbusters. I also customized a neon sign in my late mother’s handwriting that reads ‘here for you.’ It’s a promise from one of her last notes to me, and it hangs above Davin’s bed in memory of her.”

Hamilton is not opposed to changing the designs that she and Marcus created while he was alive; she suspects the space will evolve over time. The one thing she knows she does not want to do is “make it a shrine” to her late husband.

“My intention is to continue loving our home and making new memories, all while honoring Marcus in the space we created,” she said. “I want anyone who comes into our home to feel our love for him.”

The 2022 holiday issue of Drew+Jonathan Reveal is on newsstands now. As reported by Heavy on October 17, it is the final issue of the magazine after three years.